Ask me ANYTHING about Bonita and I'll have an answer for you within a week
MANDI'S 
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2003
TO THE 2002 ARCHIVES
Q    I'm trying to find the schedule for the beach trolley from K-Mart in Bonita.  Can you help?  Thanks!  CL (July 11, 2003)
A  Well, CL, my web guy  managed to find one in PDF format (you'll have to magnify it a LOT to read it) LINK, and he also found the HTML version (also needs magnifying to read it) LINK.  The fare is 25 cents, which I guess is pretty low for you two-legged land-lubbing mammals.

Q    Where can we watch fireworks in the Bonita Springs area on the 4th?  Is there anywhere we can watch from our boat?  LA (June 29, 2003)
A  Yup, LA, there are places, and here's the scoop:  They'll be at Lovers Key, starting about 8pm, and they'll be visible from both the Gulf AND from Estero Bay, but my web guy found out from the assistant city manager that they'll be more betterer (I know, I know; I just like to say it that way) from the bay side than from the west; they're sorta aiming 'em more that way, she told him.  There'll also be lots of parking available for the folks who wanta watch 'em on land, but if last year was any indication, you'll be LOTS better off in your boat, since the traffic before and after was murder (why DO you landlubbers say that?).  As for me, I LOVE the loud bangs and all that skyglittery stuff filtering down through the water; makes it REAL pretty, and I think that's WAY kewl!  (And maybe I'll pop by and visit you while you're out there in your boat, if you promise not to hit me with the prop.  Deal?  'Kay.)  Happy 4th, LA -- and everybody!
NOTE: Due to a tragic (and fatal for five, so far) explosion of a truck delivering the fireworks to the site, the entire fireworks display has been cancelled.  So we'd 
suggest either the Naples Pier display or the Fort Myers Beach one. 


Q   Are there any public boat ramps at Bonita Beach?  DK (May 15, 2003)
A  I'm afraid not, DK.  The closest one is on the bay side of Hickory Boulevard, at the end of Melody Lane, across from Beach Access #8 about two miles north of Bonita Beach Road, but there's no parking there.  The closest one that's REALLY public AND has parking (40 spaces, 75 cents per hour or $3.00 per day) is the county one on the Imperial River; it's on US 41 about a quarter mile or so north of Bonita Beach Road, on the right.  There are also some semi-public ones on the bay side of Hickory Boulevard and some of the roads off that, but we can't really advise you to sneak out and use them, can we?  Happy boating, and be careful out there, y'hear?  And watch out for me and my buddies, 'kay? 
     And I got this in from BH on June 19th:  Dear Mandi,  I believe there is a public launch with parking on the bay side just north of Big Hickory Fishing Nook and just south of the bridge - kinda tucked under the south end of the bridge.  Yes, public.  Best wishes.  BH  I'll check that out the next time I'm swimming around there.  (July 2nd:  Yup, found it and it's there, on the right heading north, just before you go over the bridge.)

Q    Hey Mandi,  What's the story with the old Hargraves pizza place on the north end of Little Hickory Island (Bonita Beach). The sign out front says they will have apartments there (on the bay side) selling for...ready?... $2,750,000 each!  I can see the sign from the road. YOU can read the sign they have over the water. My question is, is that price a misprint?  (and stop eating all the snook!)  BH (March 25, 2003)
A  "Hey Mandi"????!!!!  Getting awful familiar with ol' Mandi, ain'tcha, BH?  And nope, it's not a misprint; the price IS 2.75 million.  And I want you to know, BH, that I was way down at Wiggins Pass when I got your question, and I had to swim ALL the way up to Big Hickory Pass and then down the bayside a bit to find that sign and figure out who to have my web guy call to find the answer to your question.  And the seagrass was WONDERFUL at Wiggins Pass, too!  Geez, some people just need to know EVERY little thing, don't they?  (And just FYI, BH, I do NOT eat snook; I'm a vegetarianismic mammal.)  Anyhow, here's a link to a listing in Villa Positano, which is what that development is called:.LINK


Q    what words in the english language end with "gry" there are only three????  Lisa
(February 4, 2003)
A  And your question about Bonita, which I came all the way up from the bottom of Estero Bay to answer, is exactly WHAT, Lisa? (And it might behoove you to take a course in punctuation and capitalization, too, m'dear!)  BTW, folks, this will be the LAST non-Bonita-related question I'll even bother to answer, much less post, and this time only because this can be another place where you can learn about this silly question that's plagued the Internet for years, as you'll see from the links I've asked my web guy to post.  So that's the answer.  Go to the links to get the real skinny on this one:  ...LINK1...LINK2...LINK3...LINK4...LINK5.
   But a dear friend of ours, "WendyOnSanibel," DID create a brand-NEW word to do an end run around that hoax and maybe finally put it to rest.  Her suggestion is:  "Viagry: orig. Am. Eng., Adjective energetic, self-confident, filled with abundant good health, as in, 'I'm feeling pretty viagry today.'  We think that deserves unanimous acclaim!  In fact, we even set up a quickie web site dedicated to spreading that word around:  Viagry.com


Q    Dear Mandi, I was very surprised when I read your guest's post of 1/7/03. Bonehead!?  Annieloonie comes down from Canada to insult people she doesn't even know!?  Bonehead indeed!  Who does she think she is?  With no provocation, AnnieT insults cruelly and rudely, without justification, a stranger who did her no harm.  I trust Loonieannie only represents the ignorant people of Canada, and not the masses of kind and loving people from our north.  BH (January 9, 2003)
A  And your question about Bonita, which I came all the way up from the bottom of Estero Bay to answer, is exactly what, BH?
    (Actually, I'm gonna go ahead and post this, see what, if anything, Annieloonie might have to say in response, and then decide whether to post any more of these "backatcha" kinds of posts.  This is the first one, and neither I nor my web guy want this to go the way of most message board kinds of things, which is entropy [you can all go home and look that up, if you have to].)  And now back to my regularly- scheduled seagrass.  Stay warm up dere, gang!


Q   Greetings Mandi:  Hope your summer was warm and uneventful.  Kindly, can you tell us if our new city plans to put the new Comprehensive Land Use Plan on the web? And if not, why not.  Will it be in the Bonita library?  In advance, I thank you.  PS- Are you a boy or a girl mammal?  BH (January 9, 2003)
A  Greetings backatcha, BH.  Just thinking about you.  (See the next question.)  And yup, nice warm summer, not uneventful, though.  My web guy launched his menu site and then expanded it to four more sites and got about 70-something restaurants' menus online, gave away over $9,000 in gift certificates in his promos, and still got to the beach most every nice day.  You can check it out at BonitaMenus.com, if you're of a mind to do so.  Other than that, BOR-ing!!  'Twas nice down here in the Gulf and the bays, though, nice crop of seagrass this year.  Mmmm!
  And I had my web guy call the City of Bonita, and a nice lady in the clerk's office told him they'd just gotten the plan you mentioned and that they're not yet planning to put it on the web, mainly because it's HUGE, about four inches thick, but they WILL have a copy at the Bonita branch of the library for you to look over.  (They just got it in themselves a few days ago, so don't hold your breath, but probably within a week or so.)  And here's a link my web guy found that you might find useful if you want to look at Lee County ordinances.  LINK
    And as to your PS, which I fear is a setup for yet another query, I'm a girl mammal, got kids and grandkids of my own.  Wanna see pictures?  Lemme get 'em outa my -- oops, no purse.  Maybe I can get some for you if you wanna see 'em.  Lemme know.  (I've also got a few PR shots of me back when I was doing porn flicks on the side, but I don't think you'd wanna see those.)  But if you'd like to see some pics of some of my buddies when they were playing with folks REAL close to shore, click on "Day of the Manatees" near the bottom of the index page or on "Manatees" on the Beaches page.


Q    Hi Mandy!   I was informed, by a neighboring Canadian, of your way too cool, awesome, web-site...  You are now stored in my favorites.... Just a couple of quick ???'s    #1...   How 'bout that BH???  He's really so far out, he may just be too kewl...
I do believe tho' that his initials may indicate "Bone Head", which proves he's a friendly neighbor, close to your "ilk", who is greatly sought after...  Or, is that Bonefish? ! ? ! ? ! ?   I get confused... #2, quite seriously, how's the Mold Spore count in Bonita??   I'm curiously affected by Red Tide, and Mold Spore, so breathing gets to be unsightly, when I need to utilize my blow hole...  I'm on my way to the Beach..  See ya' soon.... Warmest regards, Annieloonie (January 7, 2003)
A    First, Annieloonie, that's Mandi with an "i," not a "y"; but you're forgiven for that.  And welcome to my little piece of Paradise, although these days, I understand it's been "way too cool" up top there (and even sorta nippy down here in the water, so I've been swimming up one of the canals to "warmer" water), but probably still warmer than up Canada-way.  I can't tell from your email if you're still up nord dere or down here someplace with a Canadian for a neighbor, but if you're off to DB, as we call Da Beach, I'm guessing you're down here OR maybe a really wild Canadian masochist (my web guy helps me with those big words).  And I REALLY like your nickname.  Any significance to that, or just fun?
  Now, as for your first question, I have no idea who this BH actually is.  My web guy just took the initials from his screen name when he sent in his questions, and he never gave us his (or her?) name.  And I actually had some fun with some of his questions.  My web guy recently tried to email him, but that Mailer Daemon guy said there was no such user, so maybe he's changed his email addrsss or moved or who knows what?  But he WAS a lot of fun while he was with us.  (Maybe I upset him some with my answer to his last question, too.)  (Later:  And now, totally out of the blue and totally coincidentally, he's back, just two days after you sent in your question, but he's got a new ISP, apparently, so maybe that's why that other email never got to him.  Now, is that just coinkydink, or do you maybe know him, huh, huh, huh?  You two wouldn't happen to be tryin' to pull ol' Mandi's flipper, wouldya?  Methinks you might be.   My web guy doesn't agree, but you never know, with the anonymity of the Web.)
   And now, on to your Question #2.  Mold Spore, other than being an anagram of Lords Poem (or Older Mops, Spool Merd, Lord Mopes, Sprolomed, More Splod, Sloop Drem, Drop Moles, Dor Slop Em, Dorm Poles, Dorm Slope, Elm Droops, Dole Romps,  or Drool Spem -- sorta wish there were another "r" in there; that'd be fun -- or Sperm Lood -- MORE -- seems to be a VERY serious problem for many of you landlubbers (especially those pesky Canadians).  Here's a link we found on the subject: LINK1.  And here's the count from that same web site, which is probably not relevant to Bonita, but it's kinda interesting. LINK2.  As for Bonita, it seems that the mold spore stuff is hooked in with the pollen count, and that ain't much of  a problem except 'tween February and October or so, and that's when the local TV stations keep track of the pollen count and post it in their weather section of the daily news broadcast.  So in another month or so, start checking the weather forecasts.
   Also, my web guy just had a nice chat with Skip Kordas, the morning meteorologist for WINK-TV (CBS-5), one of the local stations, and he said mold spore is generally not much of a problem at the beach, since those little guys live more in the woods.  So he said you SHOULD go to the beach (unless you're allergic to sand) but probably NOT go camping in the woods.
   And Tom Rector, senior meteorologist with WBBH-TV (NBC-2), also gave my web guy a couple of super-useful links for pollen counts all year round in the Naples area AND all over the US:  LINK1 and LINK2  Hope you find those helpful.  And on THIS one, which my web guy found from one of Tom's links, you can set up a personal allergy profile, if you want to: LINK3.

   As for red tide, that's a freaky and unpredictable phenomenon (it's a blooming of Dinoflagellates, mostly, who are sneaky little buggers who live out here in the salt water all around me), which kills fish and causes lots of folks to have trouble breathing.  If you get anywhere near the beach when there's a bloom of those bad boys, you'll probably hear the coughing from a LONG ways away (sometimes it even gets down here under the water and even ol' Mandi can hear it), and you'll also be able to smell all the dead fish that wash up on shore and then sit there till somebody gets their official act together and removes 'em (which has taken several days, if not weeks, in the past; terribly uncoordinated, a health hazard and pretty darned stinky, too).  So if you're as sensitive as you say you are, you probably shouldn't even venture NEAR the water if the news is reporting a bloom of red tide.  And here's a link BH sent me on it, too:  LINK4.
   And thanks for your nice comments about the web site.  You can come rub noses with me any time you want to.  (And I MIGHT even let you ride me, if you'd like.)


TO THE 2002 ARCHIVES